Business school session gives lessons on workplace feedback
BY MICHAEL PENA
About 120 supervisors and office workers gathered at the Faculty Club earlier this month for the Graduate School of Business’ first Stanford Breakfast Briefing of the academic year to learn about getting and giving feedback.
Aside from the trays of pastries, though, nothing was served up sugar coated. The featured speakers at the Sept. 15 event were Myra Strober, a professor at the School of Education, and her husband, Jay Jackman, a psychiatrist unaffiliated with the university.
Both are also human resources consultants for various Silicon Valley companies who try to get employees and their bosses to be more comfortable with soliciting and receiving the dreaded f-word.
Feedback, the presenters explained, is touchy with most people because they often associate it with criticism they received when they were children. “Criticism often reminds us of uncomfortable times in our past,” Jackman said. “What people tend to underestimate is the power of this feedback.”
At least half of all executives that the couple has worked with admit to having never asked for feedback. They felt that those types of questions might lead to arguments, new demands or maybe even termination.
The result? They try to guess what their bosses want and lapse into maladaptive behaviors such as procrastination, denial, brooding, envy and even self-sabotage – all fueling a cycle of avoidance, the speakers said.
“People will recognize that you’re brooding, and they will not approach you,” Jackman said. “You harbor this dark view of the world.”
The speaker series, now in its 18th year, is designed for the academic, business and technology sectors. Speakers are industry leaders, tenured faculty from Stanford and other academics with expertise in current management topics.
The talks, held the first Wednesday of each month, are open to the public as well as Stanford affiliates and corporate workers. Some at this month’s session nodded silently or giggled with recognition as they listened to the age-old problem with honesty in the office.
One executive offered some feedback of his own during the question-and-answer segment. He said that when he shares his opinion with employees, he asks what they think and allows leeway for disagreement. He also told the speakers that they should have touched on how to finesse workers with positive feedback.
Of course, Strober and her husband acknowledged the point. But as Strober explained: “The reason why we didn’t focus on that in this presentation is because none of us seem to have a problem with giving positive feedback.”
Indeed, another executive asked the couple how she might get her boss to offer more constructive criticism about her work. Carrie Coltman is a senior program manager who focuses on workforce learning and development at Adobe Systems in San Jose.
“I’m really interested in getting good feedback because it’s a big deal,” said Coltman, adding that she has found past breakfast briefings to be very informative.
Strober said that co-workers can be a good alternative when supervisors don’t offer enough useful feedback. Jackman added that individuals often have a general sense of where they can improve, and can broach the subject by bouncing those ideas off their bosses.
“By opening up the issue yourself, you give your boss permission to address those issues,” he said.
One practice they felt equally adamant about was the annual review. They hate it. Annual reviews tend to be rigidly structured and rush through an immense amount of information without allowing time for thoughtful discussion, they said.
“Our assessment is that the annual review is a horrible way to get and give feedback,” Jackman said. “What you want to have is an ongoing assessment.”
But they found that some other notions do hold true. Harsh words usually cause men to get angry, while women cry. Being conscious of your emotions and responses, seeking support from friends and tying feedback to rewards – doing your job better will get you that raise – are all effective ways of adapting.
They also talked about working with a business-savvy CEO who couldn’t give feedback to subordinates because he needed to be liked, as well as an engineer who reached middle management because of his technical skills, not his people skills.
Individuals tend to not share if they think that the other person will be overly hurt, which the speakers said isn’t always the case. They added that becoming comfortable with one’s own emotions is essential for either giving or receiving feedback.
“You need to be ruthlessly honest with yourself,” Strober said. “The purpose of all this is to enhance your own career.”
Past breakfast briefings have drawn crowds of 100 to 250 people, usually with a little more than half consisting of corporate executives. Admission is $48, and for Stanford affiliates, $36.
Upcoming speakers include Timberland CEO Jeff Swartz, who will discuss corporate social responsibility on Oct. 13; and Intuit founder Scott Cook, whose talk, “Game-Changing Innovation,” is scheduled for Nov. 10.
For more information, visit http://gobi.stanford.edu/breakfastbriefings/.
